workaholism

I’ve been so caught up in my job, didn’t see what’s going on

I finally took a sick day today. I swear it’s been a long time coming. As usual my stressed-out butt was too stubborn to admit it needed time off but it also just caught up with me. Have you ever cough-vomited? Well, I have. You’re very welcome for that lovely image. Do you think that was my body telling me it needs me to slow down?

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I don’t own anything by Valentino but you get it

I feel like this is a bit of a pattern with me. I’m not good at taking breaks and allowing myself to just take a moment to regroup. From my blog entries from my Master’s, you’ll see this was also the case. I didn’t even realise I had glandular fever, that’s how badly I didn’t want to take a break…

So I’ve been taking steps towards making my life easier. I’ve decided to start my own website. It’s still in the planning stages but I’m hoping I can direct energy towards that rather than worrying about things that I can’t control. I’ve also started a journal which helps me to put things into perspective. It’s been helping a lot, actually. Writing things down really help me clarify to myself what I’m really worried about and helps me to see that:

1) What I’m worried about hasn’t even happened yet

2) Even if it does happen, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.

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I need to listen to the optimistic polar bear

People at work always say, “We don’t cure cancer. No one is going to die if there is a mistake.” I really need to remember this so that I feel more confident about the things I do.

I know I’m still learning but I have to say, it really sucks being back at the bottom of the totem pole. Maybe this is one of the biggest challenges of entering the workforce after uni – no matter how good you were as a student, you will always feel like you know nothing when you enter the industry.

Things I have learned since the last post:

  • I need ‘me’ time. This means finding a hobby so that work isn’t everything. I should have listened to Adam Sandler.
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Take some time to enjoy your personal life, before you end up *spoiler alert* losing Kate Beckinsale to Sean Astin

  • Ignoring your need for a sick day won’t make your illness go away. It’s going to get gross if you don’t listen to your body because it’s the ultimate drama queen
  • Writing down your thoughts helps to calm the crazy. When your mind is spinning out of control, write that shit down

Random ‘Stop Freaking Out and Accept That You’re Human’ lyrics:

If I’m not doin’ too well
Why be so hard on myself?

Nobody’s perfect
I gotta work it
Again and again
‘Til I get it right

Nobody’s perfect
You live and you learn it
And if I mess it up sometimes
Nobody’s perfect

– Hannah Montana

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Day 21 – I Can See Clearly Now The Emails Are Gone

I’m going to try to go to sleep as soon as possible (right after this episode of Castle). I just want to take a little time to celebrate the fact that the second assignments are being handed in tomorrow so I finally have time to dedicate entire days to my proposal and get it handed in. There is so little to do that it’s frustrating to me that I still haven’t given a draft to my supervisor yet.

This is my life now.

This is my life now.

I had work both at uni and at the other place today so I didn’t get to do any  thesis stuff. I’m a little gutted about that but at the same time, I’m starting to think perhaps I’m showing the early signs of workaholism.  I think I need to learn how to not feel guilty about taking breaks. Though having said that, I’m coming up to a week with four deadlines so perhaps now is not the time to be worrying about becoming a workaholic.

It's only a matter of time...

It’s only a matter of time…

Truthfully, I kind of both love and hate my job(s). It’s so much work, my personal life is starting to crumble and I never get a minute to myself anymore . I’m essentially working for an invisible Miranda Priestly. As Nigel said in that cinematic masterpiece, “When your whole life goes up in smoke, that’s when it’s time for a promotion.”

Basically what I say in my head when I’m wading through the sea of students on my way to class

At the same time, I kind of love reading back the assignments and seeing what they’ve learned. The little media caterpillars are slowly growing into my very own Marxist butterflies…with an inherited bias towards Television Studies. If I manage to derail a promising first year law student by convincing them to drop out of the class to pursue a postgraduate qualification in Television Studies (as I myself did, oh so many moons ago), I know I would have done my job. Hello, AGaTrois 2.0. Welcome.

Things I did today instead of working:

  • Took a Buzzfeed quiz. Apparently I’m a Robin.

    I wish.

    I wish.

  • Bought a ridiculous amount of costume stuff I don’t need. I’m glad to know that some aspects of my personality will remain intact, even as my chosen path slowly destroys my soul.

Random lyrics I heard on Bunheads that made me fall in love with Björk’s cover:

It’s, oh, so quiet (Sssh, sssh)
It’s, oh, so still (Sssh, sssh)
You’re all alone (Sssh, sssh)
And so peaceful until

You fall in love, zing, boom
The sky above, zing, boom
Is caving in, wow, bam!

You’ve never been so nuts about a guy
You wanna laugh you wanna cry
You cross your heart and hope to die

‘Till it’s over and then (Sssh, sssh)
It’s nice and quiet (Sssh, sssh)

-Björk